Ready, set, race!

I’m distracted, left behind in my own world as my legs start to turn over.

Pick up the pace, turn up a gear!

Focus, who am I kidding, my head is not in the room, its off planning what I will do after class, thinking what my son is up to… my thoughts are racing.

“You make me feel good,
You make me feel safe,
You know I wouldn’t have it any other way”

As I am thinking of husband working 6 days a week and missing him heaps the beat of Laserlight by Jessie J brings me back into the moment. I am alive, my legs are spinning, beads of perspiration are trickling down my face. Reality check. This is my time, my moment.

I’ve got that feeling returning, I remember this feeling. I start to feel good as Flo Rida Good Feeling pumps away my thoughts.

Start to climb!

I start to drift off, reminiscing about times in high school as Bomfunk MC Freestyler and Fragma Toca’s Miracle pound out of the speakers, my thoughts seem a million miles away but my legs keep spinning to the bass.

Increase the resistance!

Bring it back, focus, feel the burn. Forget about the thoughts as my body works hard. Get lost in the music not my thoughts. Slow down the race in my head, there is no winner.

Race!

No one gets left behind in the spin room, there are no losers, we are all in it together.

As the instructor wearing a Spider Man suit brings the class to a close I reflect on my spin class today. My head wasn’t in a good space, I need to slow down again. I have lost my rhythm, my routine at the gym and I miss the good feeling.

The gym is my outlet for release and time out. While I am  not a gym junkie, it is a place where I can forget about the world and focus on myself. Feel my body working hard, building strength and letting go of the stress. A place where I can stop my thoughts racing away. Even while I was pregnant we planned enough money in our budget for me to continue with the gym despite people saying we should give up our gym membership with a new bub and a single income. Going to the gym is my time for self-care.

The gym has been a wonderful place for me especially on my journey of healing and recovery. I get to know familiar faces, friendly smiles are exchanged and conversations are struck up with the regulars. On days I am feeling flat and I drag myself to the gym, I get a buzz once I am there and interacting with other people and working my body. The regulars greet me with a smile and a laugh along with words of encouragement as they notice the changes in me, the weight I have lost. Even a personal trainer that I saw 18 months ago at my heaviest did a double take at me recently and came up to me with words of amazement and encouragement.

Though my routine has been shaky of late and my head feels like it’s picking up speed, I know that the gym is where I am grounded, I get that good feeling!